Love Potion
by ThePhizz
Summary: "I must admit I can't explain/any of these thoughts racing through my brain/it's true/baby I'm howling for you." Lina/Gourry, ChallengeFic, COMPLETE, Oneshot, borderline M rating.


**The Prompt: June 26: Lina/Gourry: aphrodisiacs - "I must admit I can't explain/any of these thoughts racing through my brain/it's true/baby I'm howling for you"**

The fill:

* * *

><p>Someone, first of all, should have warned her not to take this potion in public, before her friends, and Xellos. Second, they should have warned her that it wasn't a potion to…emphasize and grow out, finally (finally!) her…powers.<p>

It was a goddamn aphrodisiac. Something that of course she didn't realize until it had passed through her system and left only sanity and upcoming shame and amnesia of the previous day in its place. She might not recall the details, but knew that waking up, tied up and on the floor of some unfamiliar inn room, Gourry pantsless on the bed, was not a normal way to start off a morning.

Her head had swiveled around a full 180 to take in the scratch marks on the walls and the badly chewed doorknob and the smashed chair. The broken window. The way the bed was tilted on one side and how her protector was nearly falling off it.

The last memory she had was one of joy, success, and the hope that-she glanced down. That hadn't come true, obviously.

"Gourry? Gourry?"

"Lina?" He snapped awake and looked down at her groggily. "Lina?"

"Why am I tied up? Where are your pants?

"Wait. Where are _my_pants?

She was met with a pair of wary blue eyes and a sigh. "Hang on. Let me cut those ropes."

And the less said about the state of his underwear and shirt, the better.

At breakfast, no one would look at her. Gourry wouldn't even fight her for pancakes and the way Xellos choked over her stuffing down sausages made Lina sick.

"Listen. I don't know what happened exactly yesterday-"

"You did things," Zelgadiss said shortly. "Horribly things."

"We don't want to talk about it," Amelia added.

"What?" She laughed uneasily. "How bad could it have been?"

"Bad." Gourry's voice was grim, and there seemed to be new lines under his eyes. "Very bad."

"Tell me! Tell me right now!"

Xellos shrugged. "If she wants to know..."

"We don't tell her."

"I'd really prefer if we just forgot about it." The princess wrung her hands. "Let's just pretend it never happened."

"I wish I could." Zelgadiss shuddered.

"At least I healed Mister Gourry right up."

The tall blond man held his arms out for inspection. "No scars!"

Purple eyebrows were raised by the Mazoku. "What about...the other areas?"

Amelia and Gourry shifted. Zelgadiss' face looked greyer than normal, and his spiky hair seemed to wilt.

"Those healed. Mostly."

Lina stared around the table. "What happened. Exactly?"

Stares were exchanged.

"You tell her."

"You do it."

"I'm not going to relive those memories."

"Xellos, just tell her. No details."

"I'll tell it."

"You remember?"

"Sure." The swordsman rubbed his chin, unshaven, and produced a scratchy sound. "Couldn't forget what happened."

* * *

><p>After she'd downed the potion, to eye rolls and sighs and confusion, she made absolutely no further motions. The sorceress stood there with blank eyes, frozen.<p>

"Lina?"

Zelgadiss snapped his fingers in front of her face. "Knock it off."

"I know you're disappointed." Amelia sounded sympathetic. "But it's not that bad."

Gourry poked the back of her shoulder pads. "Lina? Hey? You okay?

"You alright?"

Something awful came to life in her eyes. Xellos stared at her for a long moment before taking a few steps back, his purple irises visible.

"Do you think she was poisoned?" The chimera sounded more curious than upset.

"Maybe?" They looked to the shopkeeper who was shaking his head. His accent was thick but not unintelligible.

"Potion, potion she asks for. To help with the eh, boy trouble?" He pointed at Gourry, who simply blinked.

"Me?"

And that was when Lina launched herself at Gourry, and Amelia swore later that she saw a trail of drool leaking from her mouth. The sorceress was shrieking, "Mine! Mine!" in the same voice she would shriek for ice cream on a hot day in the desert during a hallucination. All high pitched and devoid of sanity.

Worse yet were her eyes, all huge and bugged out. The red irises had never been so disquieting.

"Mine!"

Poor Gourry barely had a chance to roll into a ball while she yanked at his clothes, and bit him, head going up and down like a snake.

"Miss Lina!" Only Amelia was brave enough to try and grab the red-head, though Xellos poked at her with the tip of his staff gently. Zelgadiss was already marking exits and sliding towards them.

"Get off him!"

"Mine!"

The princess barely dodged the fangs aimed for her neck.

"Mine! Not yours!"

"Fine! Fine, he's yours! But you're hurting him, Miss Lina!"

She clung to Gourry's neck like an infant monkey to its mother. Maybe a bushbaby. Her expression all suspicion while the swordsman's face purpled. Gourry's fingernails seemed to scrape off her skin and leave no damage.

"He can't breathe." The Mazoku sounded patient as only someone who'd lived a thousand years can be. "You're going to break him."

Lina weakened her grip. Gourry immediately attempted to pull away to breathe and gag.

"Mine."

Xellos tried not to look disturbed. Then pitying. "Yes, he is."

"How long is this supposed to last?" The shorter girl asked the clerk, who shrugged.

"Hours? A day?"

"-I'm bleeding."

"Come on." The chimera looked at them all disgusted, only eyeing Amelia long enough to assess that she wasn't injured. "Let's take her to the inn."

"Do we really want to be in an enclosed space with her?"

"Do we really want her in public? Daddy's still not happy about what those gossip magazines said about us all."

"They had no evidence."

"Well," Xellos tapped at Lina's face with his staff, pulling away at the last minute before she could bite it. "Until now."

"Let's find a room to lock her in. Throw up a few protection spells. Find a cure for _her_now. Take up prayer."

"Sounds good, Mister Zelgadiss."

"And I bet she'll be able to find her cure."

"Er. Okay, Mister Zelgadiss. Mister Xellos?"

"Hmm?"

"Please go get Miss Lina and carry her back to the inn."

"What?"

They all looked at Lina, who was clinging even stronger than before to Gourry, leaning in to kiss his neck and stroke his hair.

"Please?"

The Mazoku was pale. "Uh. Uh-hm. Miss Lina? If you'd please follow us back to the inn?"

He got a beady, maniac look in return.

"To the inn where their resides a nice featherbed and lots of food to devour and privacy. Privacy? Away from others? Where no one can see you and Gourry?

"...There's chocolate sauce there."

"Where? Where?"

Amelia led Xellos who led Lina who dragged Gourry who was followed by a hooded Zelgadiss who walked behind them all several feet and acted like he didn't know any of them.

"Where's this chocolate sauce?"

"Is there marshmallows there?"

"Mister Gourry, I don't think you understand the situation."

"Lina's being crazy. Crazier than usual. What else?"

"That potion worked as an aphrodisiac. Meaning that she's unable to control herself around you. And not in the usual way."

Gourry' sunny blue eyes were wide. "What do you mean-"

"Mm, can't wait to lick chocolate off you. Off those abs. Off your tight ass."

Now the swordsman's eyes were extra big, as he started to fully understand Xellos' words.

"I'm going to ride you like a pony."

"I suppose we should be glad she's talking in complete sentences?"

Amelia shrugged. "Eh."

"Gonna ride you like a pony to orgasm village!"

Zelgadiss dropped back another several more paces.

"Just find an inn," Xellos demanded. "Any inn!"

"Here? How about here?" Of course, the first inn they found was an expensive private-looking place with sheets you knew were regularly laundered, and the kind of business that Lina would have no interest in when she was paying for the group.

"Dunno. Say, Miss Lina, Miss Lina?" The purple-haired priest politely tapped her shoulder. "Do you want to pay for a nice inn room and chocolate sauce for you and Gourry?"

She pulled away from Gourry's reddening throat that's Adam's apple was jumping up and down like a crazed monkey. "No. You pay."

"Gods damnit. Fine. I just wish my Master hadn't told me to follow you around and keep you from harm."

"Why? Why?"

"Wait. Let me find my coin purse. Just get her inside."

"Feed you a nice big carrot. Then you can do the same for me."

"Cover her mouth or something. The room's going to be expensive enough."

Zelgadiss was trying to direct Gourry to dragging Lina inside. "Get at least three rooms."

"What? Oh no. Lina and Gourry are getting a room, I'm going to spend some time on the Astral Plain. I don't care what you and Amelia do. But I won't pay for it."

"Cheap bastard," Lina shook a fist at Xellos.

"Is she coming back into herself?" Amelia asked Zelgadiss, hopefully.

"You didn't even offer to pay for the chocolate sauce!"

"...Nope."

"Gourry, I'm going to need you to hide her. Go. Behind that couch over there. Carry her if you must. Just don't let the manager see."

Xellos did his best to distract the owner. "Why hello there. Say, where did you get that amazing watercolor behind you? Behind you. Right over there. Did someone sign it? Is that a signature I see?"

Amelia grabbed Lina's kicking feet and Zelgadiss raised his cape to try and cover up Gourry pulling Lina behind a couch. "Now, Miss Lina, Miss Lina!"

"Ssshhhh."

"Wow. That flower in the corner right there. There. It really pulls the entire piece together."

They hadn't had this serious a group effort since fighting Dark Star.

"Ow. Ow. She keeps biting me."

"I'll heal you after this is all done, Mister Gourry."

"Don't you look at him like that. You think I don't see? Like he wants your slightly bigger breasts."

"Miss Lina-"

"C'mere. C'mere!"

"No! You'll bite me again."

Xellos walked past them slowly, tossing a pair of room keys to them and barely moving his mouth or jaw. "Hurry up and get her into a room."

"Lina, follow me. Follow Gourry. Are you hungry?"

"Oh yeah." She reached out and groped at Gourry, who just about fell over and nearly overturned a table. "For this sausage right here!"

The blonde swordsman seemed to reach an edge to her insanity that they'd all thought hadn't existed. The edge, that was, since they all knew Lina's craziness was a bottomless pit. He threw her over a shoulder, ignoring her ecstatic 'Woohooo!" as he grabbed a key and carried her up stairs.

"I need you guys to help me tie her up."

"Gourry! I only want you! Not a group. I don't even want them watching, let alone participating. Especially _you."_She gave a glare aimed at one of them. They glanced at each other, confused, and shrugged.

"Like we'd want to join in."

"I wouldn't even want to _watch_something like that. All that hair. Disgusting."

They waited for Amelia's disgusted rejection of the offer. And waited.

Gourry's voice cracked like a whip. "-Look, damnit, I need you to help me tie her up so she stops _biting_me.

"You know I can't handle her by myself!"

"Oh, Gourry, we'll go to that cloning machine and get another one of you. It'll be so hot! Dress him in that armor that Phibrizo did when you were homicidal."

"We'll help you, Mister Gourry."

"I have some rope right here." Xellos said, helpfully digging around in his bag. "Don't give me that look. I'm trying to help. Wow. How did that pink ribbon get in there?"

"Gods." Zelgadiss cursed. "Just get her upstairs."

"Look on the bright side! At least none of _us_drank any of that stuff."

"That's true."

"I wonder what would have happened if Mister Gourry had taken the potion."

"Lina would have murdered him."

"I'm sure you and Amelia would have handled yourselves professionally."

"Shut up Xellos. Like you wouldn't have fled to Filia so far you'd give people whiplash."

"How dare you—That's a lie, and we all know it. Back me up here, princess. You know how much the lizard and I hate one another."

Amelia wouldn't look at him.

"Look, enough about Xellos' girlfriend. Just help me with Lina."

"Bastards. And after how much I've helped you all."

"Shut up Xellos and hand me the rope. Amelia, grab Lina's feet."

It was not fun, and involved dislocated shoulders and a pulled groin and a kick to the crotch (that thankfully was only inflicted on Xellos), but eventually they had the rope wrapped around Lina. With her limbs pinned, so long as you avoided the teeth, she couldn't hurt anyone. And with the ropes being extra-extra-strength ("For say, a golden dragon Xellos?" "I thought princesses were supposed to have manners?"), the odds were not necessarily against them living out the night.

Thin slivers of wood covered the floor in places, and splinters were tugged from beneath their nails from trying to dodge Lina's counterattacks. They all wiped sweat and blood from their brows. "Okay. It's done. It's done."

Amelia went to healing Gourry as best she could. "She'll feel bad about this when the potion wears off."

"Sure." For once, the tall man sounded sour.

"If it ever does. I hate to tell you this, Gourry, but you may be stuck with her like this for a while. Forever, perhaps." The group looked down on Lina, struggling and asking Gourry if he would at least screw her once or twice, as soon as the others left.

The dark-haired girl shook her head. "I'm going to go to bed."

"Me too. Which is my room, Xellos?"

"And mine."

"Oh, see. Silly me, I only got two rooms. Mwahaha-Have fun!" Xellos laughed manically, dissapearing in a shower of sparkles.

"...just take a few coins from Lina's purse and get another room."

Amelia nodded, both looking distastefully at the stop the Mazoku had left from.

Gourry braced himself. As his Grandmother would have said, making a girl deal with a monster was rude. "Here, lemme get it."

"Oooh. Keep doing that Gourry. A little more to the left. A little more. More."

"Knock it off, Lina!"

"At least stay here, and look after me. Please? Please? Pleeeaaasse?"

He just stared at her, eyes narrowed.

"I swear, I won't try anything! I won't even wiggle around, like _this,_to entice you."

"You look like a worm, when right before you stab it with a hook." Gourry's voice was thoughtful.

"Ooooh. Are you going to use your hook on me?"

"What hook?"

"Gourry, just untie me and have your way with me. Wait. _Don't_untie me."

"Okay. We're leaving."

"Goodnight. Tomorrow, if she's still like this, we'll hit the library."

They waved goodbye, and Gourry's right eye twitched at the sound of the door closing.

"Sooo. All alone now." Her smile was all teeth. Large, sharp teeth.

"Um."

"Can't be so shy anymore. Now. C'mere."

"No, Lina."

And, like a shark, she launched herself forward and tried to bite at his crotch. He was barely able to dodge. "Those pants, they're coming off."

"Lina. Stay away from me!"

"Never! You swore to be with me always!"

"Did I?"

She turned out to be remarkably fast and agile and flexible, even tied up. Rolling over to cut off his retreat, sliding forward for attacks, destroying his defenses with a kick that allowed her to corner him. Then she was sitting up the best she could, ripping into his pants were her teeth and mouth. He tried to fight her off with a chair, but she managed to shove it aside with her legs, shattering a nearby window from the force of the blow.

When Gourry leapt for the door, she was already there. He narrowly avoiding landing on her, and hold her down while using his own mouth, tried to open the door and call for help. The metal crunched under his teeth, and in his stress he only bit down harder. She managed to twist around enough for her tied hands to grab and grope at his clothings until he was tearing out of his shirt for escape.

Somehow, he found himself waving a splintered broken leg off the chair to fend her off, jumping up and down on the bed to avoid her. "Lina!"

"I love it when you yell my name!"

"I'm not ready for this! It's too big a leap in our friendship! I need time."

She snapped at the leg. "You've had years."

"But I need more time! I want to take things slow."

"You sound like Amelia."

When the bed snapped under him and sent him flying right to Lina's dodging left, it seemed to be a sign from the gods.

"Damnit, Gourry, I thought when we broke a bed together, it would be while we're at least naked."

"What about that time we were jumping up and down and broke that one bed?"

"Once. Just once. Now let's break this one again in new and exciting ways."

"No thank you."

"Gourry! Why must you tease me! You, you're hurting me. Inside. My womanly feelings."

"Awww. Lina, I'm just...just old-fashioned. My parents and grandparents told me to never share beds with girls unless I was married to them."

"We can get married. I don't care. If it gets you to take your pants, off, why not?"

His brain worked so hard the burning odor seemed to fill the room. "But we need rings. Nice rings."

"I've got some rings and jewelry from the last bandit camp we wrecked. Just like we'll wreck that bed some more. And this entire room."

"I want nicer rings."

"Jeeeezzz. We'll get some nicer stuff later. Off with the underwear. They're already just barely hanging in there. Mmm. I don't even care that they have tiny fish on them. In fact, it's kinda doing it for me."

Pure instinct was taking over. "I have to meet your parents. And have you meet mine."

"What, why? I'm sure your parents have lowered all expectations for you and would be glad to know you're alive. Since I never see you writing them letters."

"..."

"Look, my parents would love you. Possibility of a bunch of towheaded grandkids? My mother is in Zephilia right now, clutching her heart at the possibility. Like, she can _sense_me thinking about this. And she's so, so happy."

"What about your Dad?"

"Ffff, he doesn't care. You go fishing with the guy, and he'll love you."

"And...your sister?"

"..."

"See. She wouldn't be happy. We have to meet them, and get married with nice rings before we can share a bed. I mean, what if you got pregnant? She'd murder you."

"She would. She really would."

"See."

"Eh. We'll do other things that won't get me pregnant."

"Like what?"

Her eyes were filled with a terrible knowledge. "Heheheh, you'll see."

A new trail of sweat began trickling down his back. "No. No, Lina. I'm an honorable guy. I won't take advantage of you like this. I won't!"

"Gourry, when are you ever going to get a chance to see me begging you again?"

"Well, if I get a new Sword of Light..."

"Sure, sure. But not this way."

"Oh, I dunno. You seemed to be edging towards that near the end there. But anyway, you say stuff like this when you're drunk and we're alone, anyway."

"What? Do not."

"Do too. And you keep trying to take my shirt and pants off. It's weird."

"Anyway. Liar-_Anyway,_you don't care about my womanly parts and feelings aching?"

"Lina. I'm going to bed." He walked to the bed and fluffed a pillow to make his point. Lying down like he didn't notice the bed kiltered at an uncomfortable angle. "And I expect you to sleep too."

She sat up, making a fierce face at him that was capable of making many grown men wet themselves. Gourry yawned and rolled over. "Fine. Go ahead. Let me watch you stretch out like that.

"With your hair all over the place.

"Oh yeaah. Look at that chest.

"Gourry? Gourry?

"Don't pretend to be asleep. Don't tease me like this.

"...you know, I've wanted to jump you since the moment I saw you? And even after you opened that mouth, I was willing to roll around in the hay with you. Just so long as you wore a gag.

"You look the exact same as you did then. And me? Well, I've grown only more beautiful and attractive. I've flourished and grown as a person. _Blossomed,_in my own way.

"Somehow, the way you snore is becoming snide.

"Why must you fight this? We both know this is going to happen. We've known for years that this moment was to occur. Why do you think Amelia gets that weirdo grin on her face every time we smile at each other? Why do you think Zelgadiss makes those comments? When Filia sent us baby clothes? I ask you, why does Xellos never around when it's just us?

"Everyone knows. Even you, my dim beautiful stallion.

"This is going to happen. Why pretend otherwise? You can even skip the foreplay and go right at me.

"Gourry? Gourry? Are you snoring?

"Fine! Ignore me!

"I'm wiggling out of my pants, over here! Damn. I think I'm getting rug burn.

"I'll just be sitting here, laying here. Without pants. Waiting for you.

"Just...lying here. Waiting. In my underwear.

"Waiting.

"Waiting.

"Waiting.

"Mmm, wai...waiting...ting. Wait. Waiting...Wah...ting..." Her words dissolved into snores as she collapsed onto the floor.

Gourry re-fluffed a pillow. "Night, Lina."

"...aww, man, I never even got dinner."


End file.
